Today I decided that it was time to end my "awkward, in-between phase" of pregnancy and break out the Office Maternity Clothes I bought almost two months ago during an unexpected trip to the English-speaking world. (I was able to shop in a language I more or less understood, so I spent a wad of money sophisticated, dignified, tailored outfits that wouldn't make me look a big wad of ruffles.) I am coming up on five months, by golly, it's time to revel in it. Under any other circumstances, I would be thrilled to discover that my clothes are too big for me because I've lost weight. This is not the case here, though.
I spent my first trimester in a near-constant state of nausea. It wasn't until I saw my first sonogram that I realized that there was really a baby growing in there and I didn't really just have the Tapeworm From Hell. Even now, my doctor yells at me when I walk in her office because I keep losing weight (believe me, I had the pounds to spare, it's not like anyone is going to mistake me for a supermodel anytime soon). But 20 pounds is 20 pounds. And now my sophisticated, dignified, tailored outfits fit me like a clown suit.
So here's my dilemma: do I put them away for another month and hope I grow into them naturally, or do I go on a binge with ice cream, peanut butter and chocolate to ensure that those suckers fit me?
Nah...then my doctor would yell at me for gaining too much. (But she always forgives me when she brings out the ultrasound wand and starts making goo-goo noises at the screen.)