Latest news from the doctor: Of course she's concerned about me losing weight -- funny, I stepped on the scale yesterday and thought I'd actually gained, but since my last appointment at the clinic I've lost about a pound and a half. But all that energy is going to build Bizzleburp, whose heartbeat is a perky 138 bpm and who has stretched my uterus to 25 cm tall. So mostly happy signs today. The good news about the glucose test is that they didn't take the blood out of my arm, just little finger sticks and a monitor like diabetics use. The bad news is that the process was still unpleasant. It took me over 20 minutes to choke down the glucose: dissolved in water it just seemed like cheap flat cola, and if I have too much liquid on an empty stomach I get bloated and nauseated. So I tried the spoon approach, which resulted in less bloating but still felt icky. I still managed to yak up a bunch of the stuff (ugh), but thankfully it wasn't so much that they had to start over. It was like being an extra in a Willy Wonka/Buffy crossover flick: "Here, have a big wad of sugar. Now, give us some blood, please." At least I got to nap in between finger sticks: "Wake up dearie." POKE. OUCH! Drip, drip, drip, beep. "Okay, looks good, go back to sleep." Repeat several times.
So I'm not diabetic. But my hemoglobin is on the low end of the scale, so I have to consume more iron. The doc also gave me some horse pills loaded with calcium. I'm supposed to dissolve one in a glass of water every day, and drink up. After this glucose experience, I must admit I'm not too enthusiastic. How about I just eat a pint of ice cream every day, and we'll call it even?