Friday, November 25, 2005

No, still no teeth. Not a one.
Happy Thanksgiving to our U.S. readers. Hope your holiday was enjoyable and peaceful. My family gathering was not entirely without incident, but to my chagrin, that's my fault. But let me set the record straight. For the last time: I did not stab my father with a fork.
It was just a poke, a mere prod. I did not break skin. I apologized, and my dad graciously accepted.
But you'd think he would know better, after more than a decade, than to call my alma mater "an all-girls school". I reflexively exclaimed, "Women's College!" and punctuated this correction with my fork, tines striking the back of his hand. Ooops. I am not proud of this incident. Mea maxima culpa, sorry Dad.
Now if he had been in between me and the mashed potatoes or the pumpkin pie, no doubt there would have been blood on the walls. "And I would not be convicted by a jury of my peers..."

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Baby Gigi's vocabulary continues to expand. She absolutely melted my heart the first time she looked into my eyes as she made the babysigns gesture for "more" and said, "mah-MEE?" Before I had time to burst into tears, she started grabbing at my neckline. Okay, I get it, she's hungry. Now she uses "Mah-mee?" and the sign anytime she's peckish. I can live with having my title equated with "feed me," really.
In addition to variations on the theme of Mommy, she has "Daddy", "kee" for kitty, "kay" for her grandparents' dog Casey, and of course, "uh-oh" for "I dropped it, please pick it up so I can drop it again." As long as she holds off on "no" a little while longer, I'm happy.
I am pleased to report that we have heard from Queen Joolieoolie. Her lovely daughter was born healthy and happy and of course adorable. Baby girls rock. Welcome to the world, Princess K.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

They really do absorb more than we give them credit for. We were driving out to the countryside last weekend for foliage-peeping and whatnot, and on the radio R.E.M. was performing "Man on the Moon". From the back seat, a tiny voice popped up, "Ya ya ya..."

Oh, and still no teeth.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Happy Thoughts and pixie dust and whatnot to the aforementioned Queen Joolieoolie, who is scheduled to have a C-section tomorrow. They did pretty good job with kid #1, who looks like somebody left his daddy in the dryer too long. Here's hoping that all goes well.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Great news! We finally know where we're going to live next year. The folks at HR decided, I guess, that if I couldn't get a promotion I could get a nice consolation prize.
So, remember that Tom Cruise movie where he's some kind of resort bartender? And that Beach Boys song from the soundtrack got stuck in everyone's head for the rest of the decade? You know, the one that sounds like a Caribbean travel agency's jingle?
Well, my next contract sends me to a place listed in that song. For three years.
SUPER SWEET!
The one downside to all of this is that I have six months to get myself ready for perpetual swimsuits...oh gaaaaaaaaawd. Considering my title as the reigning Lady Lardbottom of the Grand Duchy of Buttox, I have my work cut out for me.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

"Gigi" and I have been sick all week. She got a cold for her birthday, so no trick-or-treating. I got the cold from her the following day. So after All Snots Day, we've been keeping a low profile and hoping not to spread it to her daddy - who is pounding orange juice like the Anti-Anita Bryant. Thursday she went for her twelve-month checkup at the pediatrician, and the flu shot made her miserable all day Friday. Saturday morning she woke up in the wee small hours of the morning. Ooooogh.
A few weeks ago, after I wrote about my limited tolerance for "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round," my homegirl Queen Joolioolie wrote me about her son, who at one point could only be soothed in the car with TWOTBGRAR. She and her husband would be driving around with the boy, inventing more and more verses for the song. Ah, yes. I feel your pain, sister. This week has taught me that a sure-fire method for wooing a reluctant Gigi to sleep is "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."
So there I was at 4:30 a.m. Saturday trying to invent new variations of "in the nursery, the baby's nursery, the baby goes to sleep" that didn't involve "the mommy goes insane..."
So my sleep schedule, such as it has been over the last year, is now pretty whacked. And the worst part about being sick? Coffee doesn't taste right. Maybe I can persuade my local Starbucks to whip me up a no-foam Robitussin soy latte.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Some folks really go nuts when celebrating their kids' milestones, but this is over the top. We just had the family over for dinner and cake. Sheesh!