Happy Thanksgiving to our U.S. readers. Hope your holiday was enjoyable and peaceful. My family gathering was not entirely without incident, but to my chagrin, that's my fault. But let me set the record straight. For the last time: I did not stab my father with a fork.
It was just a poke, a mere prod. I did not break skin. I apologized, and my dad graciously accepted.
But you'd think he would know better, after more than a decade, than to call my alma mater "an all-girls school". I reflexively exclaimed, "Women's College!" and punctuated this correction with my fork, tines striking the back of his hand. Ooops. I am not proud of this incident. Mea maxima culpa, sorry Dad.
Now if he had been in between me and the mashed potatoes or the pumpkin pie, no doubt there would have been blood on the walls. "And I would not be convicted by a jury of my peers..."