Just because I'm planning a few days off, the kids have been nurturing some really juicy coughs over the last 72 hours.

Now that we're not allowed to give little children cold medicines anymore, I suppose the most certain way to chase off their illnesses is to cancel my vacation days. Sorry kid, tough it out.

I am tired. I mean, really tired. Perpetually not focusing on stuff. I don't know whether to attribute this to inadequate sleep, insufficient caffeine, or the fact that I really haven't had a vacation in over a year.

Maternity leave does not count.

Our trip to the mainland in June does not count. Two weeks in a minivan with two kids under the age of three for two family weddings isn't a march through Bataan, but it's not particularly restful either.

Since I returned to work in January 2006, I've endured nine months of morning sickness, an international move, a job change, surgical birth, and my daughter's "Two's". I got three months of maternity leave (six weeks to recover from surgery and six weeks to dread going back to work).

Next week I am supposed to get a few glorious Days Off. Monday morning I'm going in to the office to hand stuff over to my boss, who is at a conference this week but should be back this weekend. Tuesday and Wednesday are leave days. Thursday we get TurkeyFest off because the company is US-owned. Friday we're having the office fumigated, so everyone gets a day off.

That's four days where the kids are in day care and I plan not to be at work. I hardly know what to do with myself.

If my mother were here, we'd be cleaning out closets and moving furniture. Sorry Mom, I'm thinking one day on the housework, max. If the weather is good, beach and books will be involved. A really good haircut is in order too. We shall see.

Of course, the Ineffable One has a sense of humor, and I am also expecting this to come into play with my so-called plans for "vacation". It is because of this that I will not be attending my high school reunion. No, I won't tell you how many years.

And on that note, back to the steaming piles of housework that await. Tomorrow is trash and recycling day. Wish you were here, Mom.

Twitter is down, so I guess I have to blog for real, ha ha.

My husband, a.k.a. Captain Ketosis, keeps finding interesting things to do with low-carb ingredients. Tonight's invention by necessity was a mock Brandy Alexander, with melted low-carb ice cream. (The ice cream was melting, I don't know, I don't ask questions.) And if someone out there wants to point out what the actual carb count of cognac, do me a favor and DON'T tell me. It won't make me any happier or more sober.

Oyez, oyez, oyez: Take note of lawyers in Washington DC collectively doing something decent.

I'll let someone else remark on the ABA President's statement that "President Musharraf sought to justify his actions by citing the threat of terrorism. But shutting down a nation’s lawful institutions of justice will hurt, not help, the fight against terrorism."

Ahem, FISA, cough, cough. Patriot Act, herm, ahem, cough.

The bike is BAAAAACK!!! The cops called two weeks ago and said they'd found my bike in a church parking lot about five klicks from our house. I tried very hard to sound very cool, but inside was squealing with glee like a five-year-old at Disneyland.
When I got to the police impound lot, I was horrified to see how many remains of stolen bikes there were there. The island is not that freaking big, how many people have bikes? And how many thieving scumbags are on the loose?
So the cops had to keep my baby overnight to do their low-rent CSI routine. The culprits took the seat (whiskey tango foxtrot?) as well as my helmet, cargo box, and rain gear. Oh, and they siphoned out all the gas.
Next steps: Wait another two weeks for repair shops on Island Time. Shop delivers restored bike. Discover keys in bike sitting in driveway. Call up shop and ask them whether they realize that the bike had come their way because it had been stolen out of my driveway.
I have a new cargo box, helmet, and two kryptonite locks. Watch out, world.

Contents of my glass recycling bag, all carefully sorted and washed: one dozen baby food jars, a wine bottle, and a bottle of Jose Cuervo margarita mix.

Hey, the baby food jars outnumber everything else, so no Britney jokes.

OMG Cool New WebToy! The only drawback is that most of the people I owe beers to are probably not Twittering. The fact that I live on an island hundreds of miles away from them also makes redemption difficult.

But dude, on-line karma tracking. This is so much cooler than Blackberrying. And in terms of usefulness to the human race, an order of magnitude more worthwhile.